Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Story of the Season: Tribes and Tebows

Once upon a time, there lived a league of legends, a collection of 32 tribes that constantly battled one another in the fall and winter and replenished their troops in the spring and summer. These tribes were of the warring kind, however, their wars were fought in an organized manner. In fact, they showed their superiority by playing an odd game known as "football."

This is the story of the 2011 tribal war season.

During the summer of 2011, the Eagle tribe looked like the favorite to win the tribal war contest, parting ways with young Corn-on-the-Kolb (who left and joined the Cardinal tribe in the desert) and going out and convincing many famous warriors from across the land to join their cause.  Other popular tribes during that summer included the Steeler clan and the Packer tribe, both of whom were able to retain many key warriors from the previous year, where both had met up in the tribal war finale. However, the field looked wide open for a new upstart tribe to take control.

As the war season approached, another favorite, the Colt tribe, suffered a heavy blow when they realized they would be without their best warrior, Peyton Manning, for much of the beginning of the year. They had to settle with their backup leader, a man by the name of Painter. Other tribes realized in the practice battles that their tribe would take a lot of work to be able to compete with the Packer or Eagle tribes.

With these concerns looming, the war season began. The first battle was between the previous two champions, the Packer tribe and the Saint group. The Packer tribe won, led by their best warrior, Mr. Rodgers.

A few weeks passed and the Bill herd (colloquially known as the Buffaloes), located in upper New York, and the Lion tribe, whose territory lay around the Great Lakes, began to attract attention. Both these tribes had performed poorly throughout the course of history but they were able to win key battles, namely the Buffaloes' triumph over the Patriot army of the northeast and the Lion tribe's victory over the Cowboy tribe.

However, as these groups shined, certain groups fell flat, losing key battles against mediocre opposition. The Eagle tribe, who had received a great deal of hype prior to the start of the warring season, lost battles to the Falcon, Giant, and Fortyniner tribe within a span of 3 weeks. The tribe faced a unique problem: the multitude of great warriors seemed to prevent the tribe from working together to achieve its goals. Other disappointing clans included the Steeler clan, who lost their rivalry battle with the much-hated Raven flock to the north and a battle with the fierce Texan tribe and the Jet fleet of New York, who fell to the Raider nation of the West and the aforementioned Raven flock.

The warring progressed and many teams began to make changes to their list of warriors so as to increase their chances of becoming champion. The Bengal herd of lower Ohio realized that their newest draftee, Dalton, would be the perfect leader for their tribe. Therefore, they were able to trade away the old disgruntled leader, Palmer, to the Raider nation of the West, and received the rights to the Raider nation's next two draft choices in the 2012 and 2013 rights of passage ceremony which paved the way for boys to become men and join a warring tribe of the tribe's choosing.

The Bronco mountain clan were disappointed at the quality of fighting performed by their head horse, Orton, so they replaced him with a new warrior, Tebow, who had awkward war skills but a very polarizing personality. Critics called this leadership change a publicity stunt to get more people to watch the Bronco clan's battles, but it seems to be effective, as the Bronco clan has defeated 5 of the 6 opposing tribes they have faced since he replaced Orton.

The favorites before the warring season for the most part have been performing well. The Packer tribe has not lost a single battle since the start of the season. The Steeler clan have lost a few battles to mediocre opposition but also beat a couple of excellent warring nations. The Raven flock and the Patriot army have done well too.

On the other hand, there have been two main disappointments: the Eagle tribe and the Charger tribe. The Charger tribe had entered the last few warring seasons with high expectations, but have failed both years. This year, more of the same. Their leader, Rivers, has been consistently handing his weapons to the oppositions, which has made it hard for the team to fight. The Eagle tribe, as I said earlier, has still not been able to get its headstrong warriors to accept a lesser role for the greater good.

And on a happy note, there have been two surprise clans this season: the Fortyniner tribe and the Bengal herd of lower Ohio. The Fortyniner tribe had only lost 1 battle (to the Cowboy tribe) until this week when they lost to the Raven flock. However, they remain one of the favorites this season due to their excellent trainer, Jim Harbaugh, and the consistent play of their leader, Smith. The Bengal herd, after getting rid of their old leader, have flourished under Dalton. However, two of their rivals, the Raven flock and Steeler clan, have also been fighting excellently, so it may be hard for the Bengal herd to overcome them.

All in all, the warring season has gone well so far, with surprises and disappointments, and many other storylines in between. It has been interesting to watch these battles unfold and their tribes show their cards.

And that Colt tribe I mentioned, the one who lost their leader? He hasn't returned and they haven't won a battle yet this season.

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